Love – Needs or Wants?

Sometimes I wonder, what love is, as until now I haven’t felt one.
Yes, those 4 letters.

I am searching for one now. Nonetheless, it ain’t coming yet. And then it popped to my mind again, do I really NEED love right now? Or Do I WANT love? As I write this article, I have just realized that I capitalized NEED and WANTS instead of the LOVE itself. Is it really love that I need now? Or it’s just my wants as the effect of seeing happy couple surrounded by me? I don’t know may be I’m both.

May be I don’t need love right now, but I do need something someone to deliver my inner passion of caring. But for now, love from my family, from my mom, my dad, my brothers and sisters, and my friends is enough for me.

Why would you want to be loved just by special someone, but the whole world doesn’t love you? Gee, I could not live with that! I’m greedy! I want both! Until the right time has arrived I will grabbed them all.

Thanks to keyboard and computer that had awoken me through this writings.

Love – Needs or Wants?
Love- Wants : comes every time
Love- Needs : will definitely arrive until it’s the right time
How's yours? needs or wants?

First time impact

Usually it crashed you the most! Truthfully yes!
First Accidents
First Date
First Kiss
First Love
First Job
First Friends
First Coincidence
What’s your favorite first time impact?

Life is

"Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it."
— Mother Teresa

Love such a tragedy

These days I've been experiencing some hormonal issues. Lately I was not myself, I was being melodramatic and sentimental fool. I didn’t know is it because of my surroundings, or it was the earth which apparently start to heat, so it made tempered attitude affection to human. I just didn’t understand that it was quite hard to control your feelings, and I started to learn that this was just temporary, and time would heal, just like it used to be. I’ve learnt that once your wish was granted, you just couldn’t stop. I even heard this phrase during a church mass “Life is a journey of wishes to you God”. Well, it was so true, that I had not stop wishing since the day I could light a candle, and pray to Mother Mary, Jesus, Father, and the Holy Spirit. I’ve always wished for love, to accompany me for the rest of my life. These wishes were slowly being granted, slowly but sure, it was always His ways of fulfilling my inner conscience. From the first I felt sparkles of chemistry with some guy in college; to descent guys I met lately.

Nonetheless, I began to think, what is after this, a child? A life? A good fortune? It always bothered me that journey of wishes thing, would He filled my needs without I even wish? I know that He would. As human beings, yes we had our doubts, and I always tried to think one thing at a time, gosh! Life is a journey, made one by one, line by line! So I need not to rush, man, this whole grown up think, just made me realize that I should be more grounded and stay true to myself. I do need a guy to fill my emptiness; it was the loneliness that I feared. But, I have had embraced it all my life from four years of college had made me realized that being lonely was total cool; it was because I had lots of friends. I began to decide from now on; I wouldn’t be crying for a company again right now, however, I am ready to be hurt, to be open to someone when he’s arrived, but for now there aint no body, and i would not stop believing!

I finally realized that true love is painful, just like Mother Theresa sayings, any kind of pure love is pain. Look at Romeo and Juliet, such young and tragedy they were. They were in pain, the waiting of Juliet towards Romeo's coming was somehow related to most girls who still wait, wait for their prince charming that would come. And the classic thing, Nevertheless, I know that perfect prince charming never exist. The phrase so called true love will never come to you, when you didn’t even try to open your heart.

When the bell rang, and I would try to open my heart to be vulnerable and ready to be hurt. Yes, being a Juliet was a total disguise, and I’ve had enough of it. I began to decide from now on; I wouldn’t be crying for a company again right now, it was a foolish thing to do! I hate it! It's lonely being on top!

Gee, I'm such classic; to be bounded by Shakespeare literature during high school had made me this classic modern girl! Ah sassy! I was always amiable and prudent. I was disposed to cheerfulness and positive energy, is there something wrong with that? Was being kind and warm-hearted were wrong these days? I don’t know, as long as I stayed true to myself. I am what I am, this genuinely sincere human being. I am a saint and sinner. May be I deserved better. I don’t know. I wish this year would end perfectly without any drama and dry eyes of course. And there I’ve just commanded another wish?! :)

hai this is first post in february

i've been extremely busy with life.
I'm doing my skripsi, my final project exhibtion,
been busy! hahaha

But so far this is what my portfolio is gonna be like hoho


love love love i want your love
Lady Gaga haha!
so far life's been an adventure! yipee!!

A thank you note

A thank you note


I wanna say thank you, for giving me the best day of my life - Dido , Thank You

love You, G.O.D

love You, papa n mama.

love you friends

love you life

and thy shalt live for the rest of thy lifes

and never underestimate the power of prayer

and miracle does happen, it happened to me.

Guys, wanna thank you for everything, its too much, and i write this in a note, so that everyone could be listed..its, a thank you note

first of all to my parents! without their tenderness and caring i wont be here right now.

Buat anak kos:
The one and only melisa rustandi ,buat mengerti siang dan malam, basah kering, atas bawah, hitam putih, everything, thanks Mel utk selama ini bimbingannya dan bantuannya semua ini buat lu mel, without u im nothing..huhu..

Buat vivi yang selalu bantu ngarbon, selalu semangat, bantu bikin maket, eksisting, nabur rumput, temenin ngeplot malem2

Buat ina yang bikin maket, eksisting, ngarbon, bikinin makan malem

Buat debby - kamar sebelah yang sabar dengerin gua nyanyi lady gaga kenceng2 and michael buble huahuahau..

Buat seli - teman jablay tembang lawas di malam minggu cihuy!!! semalam di cianjur!!

Buat anak arsitektur :
teman kelompok 4 :

Maresa - terima kasih mau dengerin curhat2 gua yang ga ada abisnya n menyebalkan sampai bosen omongin SAA but we made it, n it rocks, sampe bengek2 ya mar kita di studio , asupan asistensi 3x sehari huahua, temen di kalah hujan dan badai itulah maresa

Anas - ah uda ga tau mo thanks gimana, hot n cold, rocks. thanks ya nas atas bantuannya selama ini, n saling menyemangatinya, dan juga ivan the BT company.

CT - si ehem ehem sama cici Y ehem

Pris - oit pris thanks uda semangatin di hari2 terakhir !!! dont let urself down okey girl, u r still one of the talented person i know!

teman gila ars 06 :

Yoan - my late nite chat friend,thanks for the ideas, the sharing love of twisted tounge hahha love you so much, sampe ur bf heran akan hubungan kita..sambil nyubuh kita sambil sharing design and membuka topik pembicaraan panas malam-malam ya yo, love you!! hohoho

Patty, Oma, Gigis, para PkkArs, Risty --> thanks utk ide konsep2, Rufina,Monic atas semua dukungan dan kegilaannya

widiani virnagita & Cacink : yang setia mendengarkan curhatan dan tiada henti menyemangati huahua

Indra the tyrant for Bintaro : trima kasih atas saran-sarannya tirannya

Jere, As, Wisnu, Dion pkboys, dll..


my church buddy : Jessica : yang uda temenin terus ke gereja tiap minggu terus nongkrong di chicken bowl setiabudi hahahaha gonna miss the moment!! enak bgt ya je di hari minggu pagi, ga bakal gua lupain bau udara minggu pagi sama loe, terus yukk jeee sambil dikau saa!! hohoho kita ags (anak gaul setiabudi) ga jelas hahahaha..

last but not least my so long beloved friend : mr. extraordinaire creativly inspirational fashion designer Damien Chandra from Boston n Sunter, and the member of GothSos With Rubby Octavius whatsoever hahahaha..min thanks for everything. cant live without u dude!! :D

Pink Lily and my life

I can't describe the beauty of this flower, by me words.
the beauty of it hath lulled my heart to its conscience.




such beauty i danced to the smell
it's ecstasy of love and abundant caring




i love you mom,
for thou shalt be loved, daddy, brothers, sister,
forever.
17.11.2009